My Living Will

LIVING WILL

I, Kelly Lynne Langlois , being of sound mind
and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerwood
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives
depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a
a glass of Merlot& then ask did the Chargers make it to the Play Offs this year, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, Justin, my sister, my father, and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a
special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that
these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead
to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who
aren't in a permanent coma. Under no circumstances shall any politicians
butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes
they're trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008, it
is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me
alone to die in peace. I couldn't care less if a hundred religious
zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about
me. I don't know these people, and I certainly haven't authorized them
to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business,
too.

If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a
political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make
his or her existence a living hell.

Singed this day: In the year of our Lord two thousand and five, on the twelfth day of April.

Kelly L. Langlois