MIGRAINE

Main Entry: mi•graine
Pronunciation: 'mI-"grAn, British often 'mE-
Function: noun
Etymology: French, modification of Late Latin hemicrania pain in one side of the head, from Greek hEmikrania, from hEmi- hemi- + kranion cranium
1 : a condition marked by recurrent severe headache often with nausea and vomiting

Migraines are rather amazing.

They begin quite spectacularly. All of a sudden the victim will begin to feel slightly disoriented. Then ones vision becomes slightly impaired as if one is looking through a kaleidoscope. Circling flashing lights dance on the edge of your vision. These flashing diamond lights can be intensely beautiful, except for the fact the sufferer of a migraine knows in just a few short minutes the beautiful lights will disappear followed by the most excruciating, intense, agonizing pain know to mankind.

Childbirth is cake compared to a migraine.

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of experiencing a migraine allow me to give you some imagery so you too can experience the beauty of a migraine.

Lay your head on the ground, cheek on the pavement. Now ask a loved one or just a friend to take the car and roll over your head stopping and balancing the full weight of the vehicle on your temple. Can't imagine that? Ok here is another. Dive down 1000 feet into the Pacific Ocean. At this point you should be able to feel the full force of the ocean crushing into your skull. Ok, Ok, ok you don't own a wet suit I understand. Maybe this metaphor will work better.

Put your head in a vice. Turn the handle until you can no longer endure the pain then turn some more and then some more and again. Add in some nausea, and sensitivity to light, as in a searing hot poker shoved into your eye sockets, and you will begin to understand what a migraine is. Maybe.

Here end our lesson for the day.