Happiness

Scott is GONE.

Oh yes, no more pedophile-wife-beating Scott. So, the question is will I return to Tuesday night A.I. viewing or will I stay true and abandon A.I. completely and totally?

my husband will vote on 86ing A.I. My friends, co-workers, and FOX will beg, plead, & cajole me back into submission.

But will I be swayed by the talent of Bo, Carrie, & Vonzell? Will I be able to resist my husband’s puppy dog expression as I tell him I am going to watch A.I.?

Ahhhh... the dilemma of TV vs. Love.

Who will win??????

$500.00

FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!!

Do you realize what I could do with $500.00?

1) Buy a new puppy

2) Buy a new coffee table and two end table and have enough money to go out to dinner

3) Put it in savings and make 2% interest off it (HAHAHAHA) Ok that won't happen

4) Buy n a new comforter & drapes for my bedroom

5) Get sod & put it down in the back yard. And when the dogs chew it up I still have more money to buy more.

6) Take another mini-vacation

7) Buy a progressive DVD player- one for us & one for dad

8) Take a shopping trip to Costco. OK maybe $500.00 isn't enough for that one

9) AHHHH... A DYSON Vacuum cleaner

10) A root canal & crown for my tooth.

Hmmmmm the choices!!!!

I think I am going for # 10. Two hours of pain & nothing to show for $500.00 bucks.

Damn!!! Life is grand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Living in the Great Northwest

Jeff Foxworthy On The Pacific Northwest ... you might be from the Pacific Northwest if:

1. You know the state flower (Mildew)
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
3. Use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" Signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
17. You cannot wait for a day with "showers and sun breaks."
18. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
19. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
20. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
21. You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
22. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
23. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
24. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
25. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
26. You knew immediately that the view out of Frasier's window was fake.
27. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.
28. You measure distance in hours.
29. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
30. You use a down comforter in the summer.
31. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
32. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
33. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).
34. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them

(NO I Posted them on my BLOG)

MIGRAINE

Main Entry: mi•graine
Pronunciation: 'mI-"grAn, British often 'mE-
Function: noun
Etymology: French, modification of Late Latin hemicrania pain in one side of the head, from Greek hEmikrania, from hEmi- hemi- + kranion cranium
1 : a condition marked by recurrent severe headache often with nausea and vomiting

Migraines are rather amazing.

They begin quite spectacularly. All of a sudden the victim will begin to feel slightly disoriented. Then ones vision becomes slightly impaired as if one is looking through a kaleidoscope. Circling flashing lights dance on the edge of your vision. These flashing diamond lights can be intensely beautiful, except for the fact the sufferer of a migraine knows in just a few short minutes the beautiful lights will disappear followed by the most excruciating, intense, agonizing pain know to mankind.

Childbirth is cake compared to a migraine.

For those of you who have never had the pleasure of experiencing a migraine allow me to give you some imagery so you too can experience the beauty of a migraine.

Lay your head on the ground, cheek on the pavement. Now ask a loved one or just a friend to take the car and roll over your head stopping and balancing the full weight of the vehicle on your temple. Can't imagine that? Ok here is another. Dive down 1000 feet into the Pacific Ocean. At this point you should be able to feel the full force of the ocean crushing into your skull. Ok, Ok, ok you don't own a wet suit I understand. Maybe this metaphor will work better.

Put your head in a vice. Turn the handle until you can no longer endure the pain then turn some more and then some more and again. Add in some nausea, and sensitivity to light, as in a searing hot poker shoved into your eye sockets, and you will begin to understand what a migraine is. Maybe.

Here end our lesson for the day.